Those were the words from the legendary Michael Jackson’s song, “Black or White”. For the longest we have loved the song and will continue loving it for the generations to come.
But it makes me wonder if it really does or doesn’t matter if you’re black or white? This is my personal story and I have been wanting to share this with everyone. I am half malyali and half pahadi. I know it sounds strange! My dad is from Shimla and my mom is from Kerala.
I have an elder sister. We have a five-year gap between us. My sister is the more smarter, intellectual one and I’m more of the “Black” sheep of the family. No regrets though!
So my sister is fair and I am the darker one. So many a times a lot of people would wonder if we were real sisters or not. In fact I remember this story that my sister used to narrate when we were kids. She used to tell me that one-day mom and dad were roaming around and they heard a child crying. They went close and saw you and picked you up from the gutter and that’s why you are dark. Obviously she said it in all good fun and humor. But when I was a kid, I kind of believed it too.
As years passed, it just got tougher. In school I was judged on my color, so I became used to names such as “Kalli Kalooti”, “Baingan”, “Kalli mata”. When you’re in school you are going through so much peer pressure and want to be accepted by all, mainly boys!
I struggled as my classmates called me these names. It took a toll over my self-being and personality. To an extent that I started only wearing dark colors. I know! Why would one wear dark colors?? So for the longest I was under the impression that by wearing dark colors a dark person would look lighter. Not even once did I think that it actually highlights it even more. Anyways I remember wearing a white shirt for the first time when I was in my first year of college and that’s the time when I actually started breaking away from all the myths I was living in.
It was my ex boyfriend who made me realize that white looks beautiful on a dark skinned woman. So great! There I was, white innerwear, white shirts, white salwar kameez! Etc! (Not getting too personal but back in the day I was averse to the idea of even wearing a white underwear!)
I had a very independent upbringing and hence I bounced back and didn't succumb under the pressure. But I know many people who still live under these stupid philosophies. And trust me, only “we” build them. I.e. In our heads!
Indian race is known to be “dark colored”. Don’t know where all this came about? Or have the punjabis or baniyaa communities taken over our society?? (No offence) Every marriage that takes place in this community has certain parameters and color seems to be one of them. If it’s not a fair bahu (bride), then it’s just brings bad luck and “bad name” to the groom and the family! Believe it or not but this still exists!!! The reason why I say this is because I was dating a baniyaa man. So trust me on this one! So you might have the latest Louis Vuitton or the Prada’s of the world but your mentality is as big as the panwadi (paan man) sitting on the corner of the street.
My heart goes to all those young girls and boys who think being dark is a curse. It’s beautiful and one should learn how to accept and glorify what god’s give us. For Example: If you’re dark and if you have pimples, they just get camouflaged beautifully!! Who has this kind of a power!?
The idea is to look at the brighter side of life and "NOT towards brighter skin tone". This obsession created by age-old traditional norms set by the society to a marketer’s gimmicks on selling fairness creams are just so artificial. All of us are educated enough to appreciate all the good things around us.
Learn to love yourself and most importantly be yourself! If someone teases you about your color, just feel sorry for that person. He or she obviously don’t stand out and is least noticeable.
Oh I forgot to add this bit. So while I was in school I felt the pressure of being dark. But as I grew up, not only did my skin color started becoming lighter but also I started noticing a change in the attitudes of many people. Whatever set and done, we also owe a lot to the whole R & B culture. They contributed in changing the perception of a lot many people. So suddenly a dark skinned woman was beautiful and sexy. And her butt was one of the most talked about too. (Being a mallu, I was often teased about my butt too). One of the things that surprises me rather is the fact that all the guys who teased me for my color have their tongues wagging like small puppies! So cute ! :P
My signing off line- As the famous saying goes “Beauty is skin deep”………
So true..many a times the skin color decides your popularity and your potential..times our changing though.