It don’t matter if you’re BLACK or WHITE

Those were the words from the legendary Michael Jackson’s song, “Black or White”. For the longest we have loved the song and will continue loving it for the generations to come.

But it makes me wonder if it really does or doesn’t matter if you’re black or white? This is my personal story and I have been wanting to share this with everyone. I am half malyali and half pahadi. I know it sounds strange! My dad is from Shimla and my mom is from Kerala.

I have an elder sister. We have a five-year gap between us. My sister is the more smarter, intellectual one and I’m more of the “Black” sheep of the family. No regrets though!

So my sister is fair and I am the darker one. So many a times a lot of people would wonder if we were real sisters or not. In fact I remember this story that my sister used to narrate when we were kids. She used to tell me that one-day mom and dad were roaming around and they heard a child crying. They went close and saw you and picked you up from the gutter and that’s why you are dark. Obviously she said it in all good fun and humor.  But when I was a kid, I kind of believed it too.

As years passed, it just got tougher. In school I was judged on my color, so I became used to names such as “Kalli Kalooti”, “Baingan”, “Kalli mata”. When you’re in school you are  going through so much peer pressure and want to be accepted by all, mainly boys!

I struggled as my classmates called me these names. It took a toll over my self-being and personality. To an extent that I started only wearing dark colors. I know! Why would one wear dark colors?? So for the longest I was under the impression that by wearing dark colors a dark person would look lighter. Not even once did I think that it actually highlights it even more. Anyways I remember wearing a white shirt for the first time when I was in my first year of college and that’s the time when I actually started breaking away from all the myths I was living in.

It was my ex boyfriend who made me realize that white looks beautiful on a dark skinned woman. So great! There I was, white innerwear, white shirts, white salwar kameez! Etc! (Not getting too personal but back in the day I was averse to the idea of even wearing a white underwear!)

I had a very independent upbringing and hence I bounced back and didn't succumb under the pressure. But I know many people who still live under these stupid philosophies. And trust me, only “we” build them. I.e. In our heads!

Indian race is known to be “dark colored”. Don’t know where all this came about?  Or have the punjabis  or baniyaa communities  taken over our society?? (No offence) Every marriage that takes place in this community has certain parameters and color seems to be one of them. If it’s not a fair bahu (bride), then it’s just brings bad luck and “bad name” to the groom and the family! Believe it or not but this still exists!!!  The reason why I say this is because I was dating a baniyaa man. So trust me on this one! So you might have the latest Louis Vuitton or the Prada’s of the world but your mentality is as big as the panwadi (paan man) sitting on the corner of the street.

My heart goes to all those young girls and boys who think being dark is a curse. It’s beautiful and one should learn how to accept and glorify what god’s give us. For Example: If you’re dark and if you have pimples, they just get camouflaged beautifully!! Who has this kind of a power!?

The idea is to look at the brighter side of life and "NOT towards brighter skin tone". This obsession created by age-old traditional norms set by the society to a marketer’s gimmicks on selling fairness creams are just so artificial.  All of us are educated enough to appreciate all the good things around us.

Learn to love yourself and most importantly be yourself! If someone teases you about your color, just feel sorry for that person.  He or she obviously don’t stand out and is least noticeable.

Oh I forgot to add this bit. So while I was in school I felt the pressure of being dark. But as I grew up, not only did my skin color started becoming lighter but also I started noticing a change in the attitudes of many people.  Whatever set and done, we also owe a lot to the whole R & B culture. They contributed in changing the perception of a lot many people. So suddenly a dark skinned woman was beautiful and sexy. And her butt was one of the most talked about too. (Being a mallu, I was often teased about my butt too). One of the things that surprises me rather is the fact that all the guys who teased me for my color have their tongues wagging like small puppies!  So cute ! :P

My signing off line- As the famous saying goes “Beauty is skin deep”………

 Enjoy :  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2AitTPI5U0

How Old do you need to be, to be called a "Professional"?


I'm literally compelled to write on this topic. A little Background on my professional front: Ive studied Media for 5 years and have been pursuing jobs in the media, ranging from production to PR, for 2 years now. What made me write on this topic? Well in my little work experience that I have, I've come across some really good, inspiring professional people and some who don't know how to use their power in a good and productive way.

So does being "Professional" refer to any particular age? Well I guess, the answer is NO. To my surprise I have found and met people who are very young in their careers following a really humble path, which will take them a long way. These guys are aggressive, when needed! A classic example is my immediate boss- Pooja. She is aggressive when she needs to be. and aggressive in her work and not in her behavior. In fact  I'm lucky to have trained under someone who is as motivating and passionate like her and I hope I can guide and train my resources the same way, or even better, in the future.

On the other end, I've met some hard nuts too. I would really like to narrate one of my very recent experiences.
Situation:  So we are coordinating with the media, for this gentleman, who is here in India to announce a big business venture. I will name him (MR. X). There is a lady who is heading the Indian team of the Brand. I will name her (MS. B) <for the obvious reasons- B***h!!!>  She is very senior and is at a high position. Well, I get all of that, I do! But what surprised me was the way she treated people. Yeah fine, she has a bagful of experience and all that bullshit, but that doesn't give her the authority to talk rudely and disrespectfully with anyone, whether a junior or senior. She treated my team as if we were her slaves. She spoke so loudly on the phone herself and when we were literally "Whispering", she shouts back and tells us to keep it low. I mean, you might have all the experience in the world, but whats the point of all of it if someone doesn't look up to you and admires and learns from you. A visual example- she comes with her "branded- expensive" bag and before sitting on the sofa, she literally threw/ swung her bag on the floor. I mean Calm Down Woman!!!! Haven't you had your happy pills today?? Where as Mr. X, who is at such a senior position was a class apart from MS. B. He treated us a professionals and not just mere doormats. I might have met him for those 5 odd hours, but I learnt from him. I learnt that no matter how old you are in your career, be grounded. Don't just be a sheep in the herd. Stand Apart. Have "Class"- its not defined "monetarily", but "behaviorally".

In today's age and time everyone demands respect in every form. Even something as simple as a "Stipend". I hate companies who do not even give a minimum stipend to an intern. Well in all my internships, I have never even been reimbursed for my travel. I never understood this. Is it because they are young, so exploit them Or  train them so they become good professionals in the future and contribute to our economy?  You don't acknowledge an employee with just his sheer presence.

I'm not being a "Sexist" here, but I've had enough experience with women, to have seen that women who are in their 40's single, divorced or single are just 'F****d" in their heads. (Exceptions are always there) I don't know what it really is , maybe they are just frustrated and it gets reflected in their emotional behavioral pattern. I remember having women bosses while I was in production. No doubt, these women were super talented, but they were so uninspiring. All  they did was smoked, worked, abused and abused!

The reason why I really was compelled to write on this topic, was because I feel no age defines you as a true "Professional". you can be as young in your career and as old in your career to motivate people around you. These people are a class apart and are not just working for a livelihood. They inspire, motivate, guide, train young professionals like me to do better in life!

I request everyone who reads this blog, to start respecting your employee, junior or senior- Doesn't matter! Become a source of inspiration and not a source of Negative energy!

At Crossroads of Belief & Faith

Its a perfect day to write on this topic and the reason why I'm writing this is because I often find myself at crossroads. I'm a Protestant- Christian. Yes, I know it sounds so weird, considering I have a typical Hindu, Indian name. Cutting long story short, but my dad (Karam Vir Singh Thakur) was a Hindu before he got married to my mom (Elizabeth Thakur) and yes I do get my middle name from my dad. 

Infact I love my middle name so much, that I named my blog after this. 'Karam- Korner". Well "करम " is very close to the word "कर्म / Karma", which means an action or deed which relates to the entire cycle of cause and effect. In Hindi we often say "Ache karam karne se, acha fal milta hai" , which means if you do good deeds, you will bear fruitful results. And its your good deeds which gets your good karma. I'm a strong believer and follower of Karma. Doing good is not meant to be shown to others, its a unconscious effort.According to Sigmund Freud's theory " the unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences". Hence if doing good is not in our unconsciousness state, it cant be taught and made conscious or aware of. It has to come from within, which is your "Self".

The reason why I feel I'm at crossroads is because I come from a typical protestant background, which in many ways is "orthodox". Not that I have a problem with it, but sometimes I do tend to question my belief and the belief my church preaches. What is belief? A belief is an assumed truth at the end of the day. But to have this kind of belief, you should have the Faith and faith is nothing but a strong belief on something. Off late I have been reading and talking about my religion- Christianity. The Bible is almost like the rule book for Christians around the world. It needs great understanding of the deeper meanings it has to teach and this is possible by understanding from the people of god who deliver its message. Most often I don't go to Church. But the Bible commands us to take a day of rest - a "Sabbath" - after working for six days and the seventh day is meant for Church.  

 I'm still finding my faith and this will take time. Meanwhile I will continue to go to Church, as often as I can go because I do believe that there is a power greater and higher than us. 

Only time can tell......

 

Feeling IT - Finally.

I have been wanting to write since ages now. Wonder what really drove me this time, specially when I'm in the midst of  such hectic schedules. I guess I just wanted to hear myself for once. How i sound and feel, perhaps?  I am not a writer, but I know I love to write at times and will continue writing on things which I feel for. You don't always need to be grammatically correct or phrase your sentences to speak your heart out or to get your message across.

For someone like me, to be actually sitting down peacefully at a  place and writing, is a change! i.e for good. 

Its just the beginning........

Finally I'm here!